World News Korner

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(Source.)

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This is from the series "Why Do People Laugh at Creationists?"

I always love how Palin-bots ask us why we make things up about Palin, when what we actually do is point out the truth about the moron. It is totally not our fault that they cannot accept the facts about their idol.

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Okay well I might not be THAT stuffed but I am pretty close.

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Ahh Thanksgiving, the recriminations, the insults, the threats of bodily harm. And that's just on the car ride over to my Mom's house.

Today I will celebrate this holiday of excess with the loving family that I ignore the other 363 days of the year. (I go over for Christmas as well, after all I am in my Mom's will. I get all of her debt once she dies.)

If events unfold as usual there will be plenty of hugging, laughing, and joyful reminiscing, right before the alcohol kicks in.

Then it will be time to bring up embarrassing stories about each other until somebody stomps out of the room sobbing uncontrollably. (My bet is on my brother this year.)

And who doesn't love those stories? Like the time I slept with the big boned girl (She had a pretty face.), or the time my brother peed into the radiator thinking he was in the bathroom (He was ten.), or the time my sister knocked a guy off of his barstool for calling her a bitch. (I taught her that.)

Ahh good times.

My mother will of course announce that we will NOT talk about politics this year, and that will last for just about two glasses of wine, at which time she will turn to me and say "What the fuck is up with that Obama guy you keep voting for?"

It will be a short discussion because I am well equipped with facts and figures while my mother will simply rattle off Right Wing talking points that she read in e-mails. (I really wish she would quit treating spam as if it is actual correspondence.)

Once my mom realizes that she is not doing well, she will do that thing that she does where she switches the conversation to personal attacks on what she perceives as my weak spots. (Gryphen's don't have weak spots.)

"Are you growing a beard, or do you think so little of the family that you could not even bother to shower and shave before leaving the house?"

"When are you going to find another woman to disappoint?"

"I remember when you were a baby and I still had such high hopes for you."

Now it should be mentioned that my mother, and of course my daughter who will be assisting her, are the only ones that can do this without fear of retribution. Everybody else at the table will just quietly giggle to themselves and try to avoid eye constant with me for fear that I will verbally eviscerate them.

But fear not, this will be about the time that my brother and I start discussing our childhood. We will reminisce about how dirt poor we were, the number of unqualified babysitters Mom dumped us off with, and her string of loser boyfriends that shuffled through our lives before she married that asshole who screwed up our adolescence.

Of course we don't remember any of the boyfriends names so we will use the nicknames we assigned to them. Such as Uncle "Always Smells like Whiskey," Uncle "Keeps Calling us by Other Kids Names," and of course Uncle "Don't Answer the Door it Might be the Police."

Then if that does not dissuade Mom from playing dirty, I will be forced to bring up the nicknames SHE had for them, such as Uncle "Lied About Being an Airplane Pilot," Uncle "Hung like a Parakeet," and Uncle "Farts When he Climaxes."

And that will signal the end of our trip down memory lane. And signal an uptick in the drinking.

So then it is time to eat the turkey, compliment each other for staying out of jail, and start talking shit about the relatives that did not show up to defend themselves. ("Have you heard from what's her name, you know the one with the uni-brow?" "How is cousin STD doing these days, is he still trying to convince everybody that he wears loose fitting pants for the comfort and not due to herpes flareups?")

Man I can hardly wait!

P.S. I probably should add that I ADORE my mother and credit her with everything good about my life. She is a very tough lady however, and our teasing peppered with embarrassing anecdotes are accepted in the spirit in which they are given.

With love.

Passive aggressive love.

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Happy Thanksgiving! pic.twitter.com/R8RYLDN16i
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) November 28, 2013

I have to say, all partisanship aside, that I really like this family.

They just seem far more genuine than most of the political families that have occupied that house.

But maybe that's just me.

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(Nov. 29, 2013) — As Thanksgiving approaches, I begin to think about all of the many things I am grateful for. I’m patting the back of my sleeping son thinking about the men on the battlefield in our Revolutionary War. Fighting for ideas, principles, and standards that were Revolutionary that were yet to be penned in the United States Constitution, they died on the battlefield, I’m sure, wishing they were home with their wives, children, brothers, sisters, mom and dad.

The sacrifices they made were ultimately for the love of their families in the future. It had to be, or their sacrifices, and the United States, for that matter, were indeed a lost cause. How could they know or have an inkling of an idea that they were fighting for what would become the great world power on the backs of their valiant efforts?

That war ended, but in a way it never has ended. Since the birth of the United States of America, a constant barrage of hatred, scheming, back-stabbing assaults and fights have come to be known as American history included in both our foreign and domestic affairs.

Our standards burn bright, but there never seems a lack of individuals who are willing to cast aside those standards of law both from within and without. In 1779 the Revolutionary war had just finished and President George Washington called for a day of Thanksgiving. It wasn’t supposed to be an annual thing, nor was it until 1863, Nov 26th, in a speech given by Abraham Lincoln in which he invited and declared that the last Thursday would be considered an annual Thanksgiving. Roosevelt changed in 1939 the day to the 3rd Thursday hoping to stimulate the economy with more shopping days between Christmas, but in 1941 the effort was declared a bust.

The birth of our nation was forged in gratitude for just a “chance,” an “ un-compelled opportunity” that was not insured, and those Birthers were around to take a stand against tyranny; against the dictates of a king, against taxation without representation, and certainly against the state sponsor of any particularly named religion. The broad strokes of an American standard were indeed not polished at first light but over time they have shined throughout the entire world.

We the families of those fighting in the Revolutionary War have lived to reap the reward of those who had their last meal in the trenches of war amid the meagerness of food, clothing and bedding. I cannot stand not to be grateful for their Herculeam courage and sacrifices.

The fronts have shifted a bit, but there are those who indeed say one thing and do quite another, and the one that comes to my mind right now is this one: “You can keep your insurance” while millions have received cancellation notices. It’s estimated by next year over 160 million will have their insurance canceled in one form or another, and it’s all due to a short two-year period when Democrats ruled all three branches of government from 2008 to 2010.

Withstanding any form of negotiation from Republicans, the Usurping Administration grabbed hold of power and decided to abuse it in removing freedom and employing force, in removing choice and employing the lash, in standing for mandates yet ignoring the standards of the Constitution.

We Birthers declare Obamacare is a compromised constitutional act without the signature of a President.

The Birthers founded this Nation and it is the Birthers who continue to protect this Nation. When you hear the media rail against the Birthers, don’t picture them calling Cody Robert Judy the most insulting names of ridicule they can conceive; picture them calling those signers of the United States Constitution and those who have died on the battlefields “criminals” and “extremists.”

To all this fuss about losing your health insurance, the Birthers are just shaking their heads and telling them, “I told ya so,” and yet the Mainstream Media still won’t acknowledge the actual qualifications of the Office of the President declared and mandated in the United States Constitution as the law. They hear Barack Obama say “We are a Nation of Laws,” but they deny the very principles and standards that have brought them so many blessings.

The natural born citizen qualification clause that is still the Constitutional law; that is still the principle of protection in the United States of America declaring a full two-generation separation between foreign states and the United States Office of the President, declares the signature of Barack Obama a fraud upon the law.

Obamacare is unsealed, unlawful, and is not the standard by which we as Citizens of America have lived. We didn’t give the power to our Government Leaders to usurp the Constitution – We gave the power to protect and defend and preserve it. [...] Read the rest here. Source link. © 2013, The Post & Email. All rights reserved.

- Image Credit: Free Republic. -

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