Friday, April 18, 2014
Tonight there are not one, but two chances to watch Sarah Palin's show about American freedom porn.
Tune in tonight for two episodes of “Amazing America” on Sportsman Channel. At 8:00pm, Benny Spies meets pirate hunter Barry Clifford who found millions and millions in pirate booty, in only 16 feet of water! Mark visits the most amazing taxidermy you’ve ever seen! Then at 8:30pm, Benny gets the 007 experience in some amazing armored vehicles at the Texas Armoring Corporation. And some like it hot, but not Jerry – watch as he takes on the challenges at the Brayton Fire Academy. The unique people you'll meet tonight will inspire you with their energy and innovation. Thank God we have the freedom in America – like nowhere else on earth – to pursue our dreams!
Here I speak Palinese so let me translate this for you:
"Ya'll tune in tonight while we try to use up two episodes at a time before they cancel us. On this evening's program we will visit my new hero, a man who just found money laying around the seabed and did not have to work for a dime of it. Mark visits my wig maker. Benny gets to see more technology he can't understand, and Jerry learns that fire is hot. And you might just see me standing in front of a green screen acting like I am doing something adventurous, but we all know I'm not."
"Just remember these things can only happen in America cause we gots freedom, and nobody else on the planet does."
And now we know what would have happened if Jackass had got Hee Haw drunk on moonshine, knocked it up, and produced a spin off series.
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