Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Sarah Palin attends press breakfast where she declares that her new show about shooting animals in the face on the Sportsman channel will restore America, inspire women, and probably cure cancer if you believe the hype.

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Sarah Palin attends press breakfast where she declares that her new show about shooting animals in the face on the Sportsman channel will restore America, inspire women, and probably cure cancer if you believe the hype.

Courtesy of The Wrap:

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin can comfortably split her time between Fox News Channel and her new Sportsman Channel series because both aim to spread the pro-American message and restore the country’s global leadership, she told TheWrap.

“Fox really gets it, you know. They understand what it’s gonna take for American exceptionalism to be restored,” Palin said following her presentation for “Amazing America” at the Television Critics Association winter press tour on Friday.

“They understand that getting more people active and productive and living a real industrious type lifestyle – that our show will showcase – actually helps the cause of Fox too, so it’s mutually beneficial.”

(I'm sorry how does walking through the woods shooting creatures who are minding their own business going to "restore exceptionalism" in America?)

The Sportsman Channel series will follow Palin – who returned to Fox News as a contributor last year – as she visits people and places around the country that “embrace, and encourage, and inspire more of that American spirit that we need more of.”

“What our show is gonna do is help fundamentally restore that, restore that Americana spirit, that built us, that laid the foundation for where we are today,” Palin said.

(Yep, nothing says AMERIKA like killing everything in sight and then showing in on television so that overweight couch potatoes can feel the the visceral thrill of hunting hand raised animals chased through an enclosed area where the outcome is really never in doubt. Remember my daughter works on reality shows, she knows how these things are rigged.)

“I want young women to be inspired by the show that we’re gonna put together,” she said. “One of the reasons is that I think this world would be better off having more young women holding a fish in a picture and fewer of ‘em holding their camera in front of the bathroom mirror doing a selfie.”

(And we certainly know what a WONDERFUL example Palin has set for the young women living in her home. Right?)

Palin told TheWrap that her contract with Fox News needed to allow for filming on the Sportsman Channel series, which she says is her “most favorite thing” that she’s done in recent years.

“I am so thankful for Roger Ailes allowing me to do the Sportsman Channel show,” Palin told TheWrap. “It was part of the negotiations to come back to work with Fox, was to be able to do this.”

(Please, Ailes could NOT care less what Little Annie Oakey-Dokey does in her off time from the handful of minutes that he pays her to make the rest of his guests look more intelligent by comparison. He is probably hoping that somebody will mistake her wig for a muskrat and end her contract early.)

“In fact I’m more excited about this project than I have been about many of the other projects and things that I have done in the past,” she said during the presentation.

But pressed on what those less enjoyable past projects were, Palin didn’t kiss and tell.

“Oh I’ve done some things that, um, I’ve kind of been roped into that haven’t been my most favorite things to do in the world,” she said. (Give me a break! We know she begged for all of those reality shows and cable news appearances. Maybe she means those few appearances at charity events, when she was trying to appear compassionate.) “But this is my most favorite thing, is being in the great outdoors and inviting other people to come live that lifestyle with us even if it’s just through the airwaves.”

Palin also brushed off a question about a new book claiming Ailes offered a Fox News employee a raise in exchange for sex.

(What? They asked her about that?)

“That he paid what?” she asked, apparently unaware of Gabriel Sherman’s upcoming biography of Ailes, “The Loudest Voice in the Room.” TheWrap told her about the claim.

“I think bogus rumors like that are really a waste of time especially when I want to talk about being red, wild and blue in America,” she said, quoting the Sportsman Channel’s slogan.

(Now does that sound like she is surprised Ailes made the offer, or surprised that he offered so much. Hmmm.)

“But ask me something about the great outdoors and I’ll be happy to answer ya. Come on, think of something!”

Here's one, "What do you read about hunting?" Oooh, that would certainly stump her.

Can you believe the hard sell she is giving this program?

As if a hunting program, on a channel nobody has even heard of, is going to do anything for anybody, except give her an even smaller audience than she has on Fox News and Facebook.

Let's face it the only thing this program will "fundamentally change" is that it will fundamentally signal the end of her fifteen minutes of fame.

P.S. And here is a little advice Ms. Palin, since those of us on the Left are looking out for you. If you talk Dick Cheney into making an appearance on your program, dress in the brightest orange vest you can find and stay well behind him. He has a history of shooting first and sorting out the wildlife from the hunting partners afterward.

Update: Mediaite has a little more concerning her take on Bridge-gate. Check out her hair.

Update: Oh God, the shoes!



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