World News Korner

Today's "holy crap can you believe this became the world's largest religion" biblical passage.

Jepthah apoplectic that his only child greeted him at the door, and now he has to set her ass on fire.

So the other day I happened across a passage in the Bible that damn near made my head explode.

The passage is Judges 11:30-39.

In that passage the protagonist Jepthah, a man driven from his home for being born illegitimately, is offered the opportunity to become the chieftain for the people of Gillead if he can defeat the Ammonites.

Jepthah is apparently not terribly sure of himself so he asks God to assist him in the battlefield, in exchange for a human sacrifice. And not any sacrifice mind you but "whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering."

Now mind you there is no verbal response from God cementing the deal, however after Jepthah returns victorious from the battle, he is greeted by his only daughter and immediately has a small nervous breakdown because it apparently never occurred to him that though she is his only child that she might be the person who would greet him at the door.

Jepthah becomes inconsolable so his daughter takes one for the team, "My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the Lord, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth."

All that she asks is that she be allowed two months to "bewail" the fact that she will die a virgin, and afterward she obediently returns at which time she is killed by her father, and her body burned.

Now keep in mind that this is offered up as an example of great morality in the Bible, much like the story of Job. Though in that parable God did at least spoke to Job AND spared his son.

However in this case Jepthah made the offer of the burnt sacrifice of a family member all on his own, assumed that the victory in battle meant that God had kept up his side of the bargain, and then slaughtered his only child to pay off a debt that most likely was all in his head.

This is why whenever anybody suggests to me that without God there can be no morality, I always answer that morality exists DESPITE the belief in God, not because of it.

In fact despite this horrible lesson on morality I would be willing to bet that there are very few Christians who would murder their children and burn their bodies as an offering to God, even if they believed with all their heart that God had intervened on their behalf in some way.

Like I have often said before, I am continually amazed that a religion based on Biblical stories of this type has gained the overwhelming acceptance that it enjoys today.

You know I really need to avoid reading the Bible for awhile. That thing gives me nightmares.

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